A SOR man has found himself transported to a strange alternate universe the other day when he was forced to pop into Bunnings Claremont for some bits & bobs.
While always passing the store with bemusement this is the first time he entered and was a little shocked to say the least. He told The Times,
“OK first off, parking was toighter than Clive Palmer’s suit jacket button. When I roll into a Bunnings I like to be able to park my dual cab across 2-3 bays no wukkas. This felt a lot more like Claremont Quarters parking”
While not enjoying the parking he did experience similar at East Vic Park so it wasn’t a deal breaker. He continued,
“I like to think I’m a pretty efficient Bunnings weekend warrior, all the stores are the same but this layout is two storeys. It has fkn two travelators, people actually had shoes on and were chewing their sausage sizzles rather than trying to throat them like a demented duck”
Indeed, at no point was he forced to run into the sort of crop-dusting, crust-stained tracky-dackists that frequent his preferred Bunnings at Belmont.
Accordingly, he took home a sausage sizzle to have it anaylsed. No way there Golden Trianglers were eating the same delicious greasy slop the rest of us do. Surely this is aged wagyu sausage with carmelised onions and a tomato reduction.
He also found the upstairs vantage point useful for scoping out a staff member to bail up and be forced to listen to his ideas for his project.
While the experience was different he didn’t know if he really enjoyed it. Adding,
“Just doesn’t feel right. A Bunnings at Claremont? Just feels a bit too fancy for us regular Bunnings slobs”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?