The brand spankin’ Surf CAT has been fitted with state-of-the-art anti-turbo doors in an effort to maintain a civility on the vehicle.
No doubt, Turbos from around the Scarborough area will be attracted to the free price tag and opt to get to The Lookout Sunday sesh in economic style. Especially as most have blown all their money on Tren.
We spoke to the lead designer of the ultra thin doors who said they were highly effective at stopping these undesirables. Adding,
“If you think a turbo is going to lower his arms and walk in like a normal fkn person then you are mistaken. They would rather walk than admit to the public they suffer from invisible lat syndrome”
There are concerns that some turbos may study the vehicle and one day learn that they could potentially walk in sideways. However, this has been accounted for. Our expert added,
“If you look closely you’ll see that the doorways narrow in at the chest level of your average 5 foot 9 turbo. We know they spend a lot of time on their upper body so this should just be enough to stop them walking sideways. If they work that out, which they won’t”
We spoke to a turbo who had been priced out of Scabs and is currently occupying a futon in his girlfriend’s parent’s house in Innaloo. He said the doors are discrimination,
“Can’t you handle me? Handle these gains? Ya mirin lad? I’ll just smash my way onto the Surf CAT”
The doors are just the right size for a teenager to get on with a surfboard, which ultimately, is the goal of the service.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?