Swans Sent to CSIRO For Bird Flu Testing After Being Spotted Struggling in Final Quarter

Concerned members of the public have called authorities on distressed Swans seen “struggling” during the final quarter against Flagmantle last night.

One person who reported the incident said the Swans were showing sign of being strong & healthy for most of the game but then sharply declining.

Obviously in this current bird flu climate WA finds itself in, the calls could not be ignored. A bird flu expert told The Times,

“We thank the public for the vigilance and sudden decline of physical function is absolutely what we want to hear about, the Swans out there on Perth Stadium last night showed all the classic signs and now we hope positive results don’t return from CSIRO”

The best-case scenario at the moment is that the Swans were perfectly fine and just weren’t able to handle a surging premiership favourite.

However, CSIRO is also looking into whether Jake “The Package” Stringer has some kind of natural immunity to wharfie time which may be used to develop a vaccine to protect birds from this kind of final quarter slaughter in the future.

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