BHP has announced it’s the end of the line for the nation’s boot stompers and chair draggers after deciding to automate these two leading on the moines.
For decades, generations of BS and CDs have plied their trade in donga camps. Many wouldn’t even recognise the industry without them.
This is what makes BHP’s decision so difficult. A spokesperson told The Times,
“There comes a point where we have to assess the value these people bring to the job and whether it would be better for chair holders to simply automate those processes. We can assure our shareholders the automation systems are very high tech”
Indeed they are. In fact, they utilise powerful AI technology to determine the EXACT moment a fellow miner is about to snooze off.
We spoke to the lead designer of the technology who said it was a “game changer”. Adding,
“No one is going to get a wink of sleep with these new systems. Which is what has kept the FIFO industry afloat for so many years. Just pure, unadulterated resentment towards coworkers”
Unlike a mere human, the robots used will be able to drag FAR heavier chairs and stomp their boots with enough force to wake up a narcoleptic Godzilla peacefully napping several kilometres below the ocean’s surface.
The automated systems will roll out into mine sites immediately.
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