Tony Galati named as the man to replace Daniel Craig as James Bond

Fans of the James Bond franchise have been eager to find out who will be replacing Daniel Craig as 007 in the upcoming films.

There was speculation the franchise was going to go in all sorts of directions – from a female 007 to a non-white 007. Both likely to have caused significant meltdowns in the fandom.

We are glad to report that the replacement is more than suited for the role – spud king Tony Galati. An industry insider told The Times,

“James Bond is a man who can get things done and fight his way out of any situation using what is available to him. After hearing about Tony taking on the potato board we knew we had our man”

Movie goers can expect all manner of potato-related trinkets and potato-related action sequences. Including a custom built spud-gun in an Aston Martin.

Naturally, this appointment isn’t with controversy with the Spud King refusing to wear a tuxedo and will insist on donning his signature look.

The director of the upcoming Bond film acknowledged that your typical British gentleman didn’t rock around in stubbies and a sleeveless vest but told us,

“Times are changing and so is 007. Say goodbye to Golden Eye and say hello to Golden Fries”

Well done Tony, well deserved appointment.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?