A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails & screws was no coincidence.
In what some are calling a crisis of conscience, the tradie confessed to being on the payroll of big tyre for the better part of a decade.
Reflecting on the mayhem he had sown for 10 years, the tradie told The Times,
“It all started while I was working on this bloke’s house. I couldn’t be farked securing anything and I started getting complaints from residents of the street that I’d farked their tyres, that’s when a mysterious man approached me”
The Tradie had to take a moment to compose himself as the weight of his atrocities began to hit home. He continued,
“The bloke told me he was from big Tyre and they’d be watching my work with great interest. Then Dares and farken vapes started appearing in me ute tray every month. I should’ve asked more questions but I didn’t, the more screws I carelessly caused to end up on the road, the more vapes I got”
The tradie denies that he ever intentionally discarded screws or nails onto the road but given his confession one would have to probe that further.
We attempted to reach big tyre but they were not receptive to our request for comment.