President Trump has come under fierce criticism today after being accused of holding a weird press conference to make some outlandish, unproven claims about Tylenol causing autism.
His haters say the President is only saying nonsensical horseshit because he is desperate to distract from the fact Jack Viney was awarded 3 Brownlow votes in a game that Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera produced one of the best individual match winning performances ever seen in round 20.
Accordingly, the public is demanding that the Brownlow Files be released immediately so we can see just how the umpires got it so wrong. An insider told The Times,
“Follow the money, we need to see the details of those Brownlow Files, typical of that Orange Coward to do whatever he can, no doubt he stood to personally gain from Viney getting 3 votes”
Not only was NWM robbed but Gold Coast Bull and grass eating aficionado Matty Rowell polled incredibly despite few expecting him to do so well.
The conspiracy ran deeper after the VFL couldn’t understand why he’d prepared a speech when Nick Daicos was clearly going to win.
The White House was contacted for comment but apparently Trump and RFK were hot on the heels of a theory that ibuprofen causes AIDS.
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