Fresh off claiming victory in the Iran War, Donald Trump has made another sensational claim that has many Aussie sports fan’s scratching their noggins.
According to the Orange King, the mighty USA has won the 2026 AFL Premiership Season. Defeating every single team by over 1000 points.
The US beat them so badly that he claims every single club is now desperate to “make a deal” with the US, details of said deals remain sketchy and unconfirmed. However, a source close to the White House told The Times,
“The AFL has sent Norm Smith Medallist Trump a very valuable gift, they are very thankful for what the US has done and are keen to hit the negotiation table to work out how the US will pull out of the AFL now”
Some astute punters might be asking, how can Trump claim a victory while the season still rages on, seemingly without any end in near sight.
Well, Trump has this message for you,
“We won the AFL premiership in 2026, believe me, nobody’s ever seen anything like it! Tremendous football, the best, really incredible and people ask how we do it, I say, it’s called winning, it’s called strength, and we have it. The fans love it, the crowds are huge, bigger than ever, frankly the other teams are a total disaster, they can’t keep up. We’re kicking goals like you wouldn’t believe, tremendous goals, beautiful goals”
Well then.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?