A Westralian man has thought outside the box today and installed a boat’s sails on his Ford Ranger in the hope of riding cyclone Narelle’s powerful winds down to Perth for the weekend.
Inspired by about 20 bush chooks and some generous honking on the yew-pipe the night before, the man took to his beloved aggro-mobile and made the necessary modifications early this morning, still half cut from the night before. He told The Times,
“Yewww beauuddddy mate, I’ll use fark all fuel, just whack her in neutral and let Narelle take me all the way. I hope she’s blowing due south or it might be a bit of a scenic route but I don’t care because I’m not giving those servo dogs a single dollar of my hard earned”
While the plan is completely foolproof in his head. Some in the engineering community have pointed out that attaching a boat’s sail to a Ford Ranger is absolutely psychotic. With one expert telling The Times,
“What’s he going to do if he gets cyclonic winds in his sails? What happens when a Ranger gets airborne? Is he going to tailgate airplanes? Is he going to try and pull over a Cessna and attack them with his tyre iron? These are questions we frankly don’t want answers to”
However, others in the motoring community have praised the man. Even going so far to call him a genius, which as side note, has never been used non-sarcastically towards a Ranger driver in human history.
We tracked down a Suzuki Jimny driver who said he already had plans to do the same. Adding,
“WA is windy as bro, if this works we would have cracked the code I reckon, if it doesn’t work I’ll just join the Patrol drivers and do my ‘nana whinging about renewable energy all day on Facebook, so it’s win win for me I reckon”
May the Lord have mercy on all our souls.
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