William has long believed he has adequately insulated himself against whatever riff raff lurks in LGA’s outside those encompassing his beloved Golden Triangle.
It was therefore a harsh reality check when he was informed that his home away from home, Rottnest Island, was part of the City of Cockburn.
After taking several counselling sessions William was ready to discuss what the realisation meant to him. Adding,
“Believing that I’d never stepped foot in Cockburn was core to my sense of wellbeing. Just like I’ve never done anything silly and gone to Kwinana or Joondalup. Then my life got torn apart”
It happened during a round of golf when the fact was brought up in conversation. It hit William like a ‘nam flashback and rendered him unable to chip for a triple bogey that he would no doubt record as a regular bogey. His work colleague told The Times,
“Ol William really prides himself on taking his dad’s boat to Rotto so I figured out a good way to get under his skin. You could see that he felt literally dirty and manically began applying hand sanitiser just thinking about being one of the City of Cockburns most regular visitors”
Not only did William feel he’d contracted something from the working class by proxy but he also felt disturbingly closer to the pack of howling heathen he calls Dockers supporters.
At the time of writing this article, we can report that William has send a very stern letter to the local government minister to request a rezoning.
One that according to William, “makes sense”, if you know what he means.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?