Blockbuster eyes comeback in Perth Hills after analysing average NBN speeds

Blockbuster is set to rise from the ashes like a mighty phoenix after determining a real need for their services in the Perth Hills.

Blockbuster famously was pushed out of business due to the rise of torrenting and later streaming services. All of which rely on a steady, fast internet connection. A luxury a lot of hill dwellers do not have.

We spoke to the brains behind the comeback who said they expected to be in the green within just 6 months of trading. Adding,

“I got the idea while I was having a little getaway in the Hills. I’d finally got a moment to myself and had a real urge to give my peen the full Miyagi. Wax on, wax off, if you catch my drift. It took me 45 minutes to get a few minutes on a video. I got there in the end but thought, it would’ve been quicker to go down to a Blockbuster, enter that shameful little adult’s section and get a DVD”

His frustrating wank was truly his eureka moment. He phoned the old operators of Blockbuster who told him that they would back him.

To finance the operation, the young entrepreneur plans to enforce some late fees on every scumbag who still owns a Blockbuster copy of Teken. He added,

“You do the maths on that one and some of these scumbags owe us close to $1M in compound interest. I want everyone who never returned a PS1 or 2 games to Blockbuster to feel the full shame of what they did but also to feel proud they are bringing it back”

We spoke to a Mundaring local who said he was thrilled at the prospect and couldn’t wait to watch that Jumanji movie. Also asking us if it was still playing in the cinemas.

Looks like the hill dwellers have quite the back catalogue to catch up on!

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?