Bunnings has made a shock confession this morning and admitted that they have been running a multi-decade psy-op to push the Australian public to vote early.
The decision to alter the very fabric of Aussie voting behaviour was due to the abundance of tongs clicking on election day thus reducing interest in its famous Saturday offerings.
Of course, the direct proceeds go towards charity but it’s the lure of the Aussie delicacy that drives its own sales.
An industry insider told The Times that people think Bunnings is in the hardware game when in reality they are in the snag game, adding,
“As you know, Bunnings relies on the Saturday sausage sizzle to draw people in. Once they are at the store they may as well go and spend whatever disposal income they have on their pathetic weekend warrior projects that are doomed to fail”
It is estimated that election day sausage sizzles cost Bunnings millions of dollars in profit each election cycle. So it’s understandable they wanted to do something about it.
As part of the psy-op Bunnings has been sending in plants to social events to talk about how voting early revolutionised their weekend. They have also spent hundreds of thousands on subliminal messages which are played throughout their store.
Bunnings you’ve done it again!
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