Man denied entry to Cas after 6-hour wine tour “quietly confident’ he can shout his way in

A Perth man who was denied entry to the Cas after stacking it at the entrance of the venue has assured his disappointed friends that he is well equipped with the kind of sharp tongue to talk his way in. 

After dusting himself off, Lloydy delivered his first argument as eloquently as a QC addressing the full bench of the High Court, “let me in ya dogs your pavement is fkn shit”.

His fierce contention threw his adversaries into a true meeting of the minds as they scrambled to rebut his salient points. Shocking and despite such mastery of the English language Lloydy was advised he wouldn’t be getting through the doors. 

Swaying back and forth Lloydy let his mates know that he “had an idea” and once again attempted to gain entry to the Cas by telling the bouncers to stop being dicks and let him in. 

When this didn’t work he launched into a 3.5 minute diatribe about how LITTLE he had to drink in reality. Recalling the glass of water he had at 1 pm and then the plate of arancini balls he launched into at about 3. 

It was compelling, at least judging by how much spittle was coming out of his mouth as he ranted. Alas, it seems the MORE Lloydy argued the case, the LESS keen the security were to let him in. Something was amiss. 

How could they continue to not let him in? He’s repeated his case about 30 times. Even making sure to repeat his best arguments 4 or 6 times per sentence. It was a winning formula but he knew he had to step it up. 

After leaving him no choice, Lloydy told his mates he was just going to staunch his way in, “it’ll work piece of piss lads”. So, Lloydy raised both fists and gestured towards each as he said, “don’t make me take Bert & Ernie out of the closet here lads”.

It was a weird threat and it brought Lloydy no closer to lose all his money in scumsville. After demanding to speak to Packer the security had enough and told his mates to get him out of their face. 

Lloyd is currently in Vic Park demolishing the 2nd meat box he ordered while assessing his options for a return later in the night. He told The Times, “surely those mutts will let me in later”.

Not sure about that one Lloydy. Get some rest mate. 

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