Amateur full forward and club legend Thommo has smashed another club record after extending his Mad Monday celebration by about 20 days so far, and by all reports, he’s not slowing down.
Mad Monday for the local club commenced at the business end of August. It was a great day of dressing up in fancy dress and terrorising the local pubs in that trademark way footy boys are known for.
Many of the boys kicked on through the night and decided to listen to the final siren of excess and call it there and then. Not Thommo though. No way. He told The Times,
“I love Mad Monday. It’s really the only day I feel alive. I’m so unfit that the actual season is a pain. I just do it for the party afterward. Here, hold this funnel up, Thommo is thirsty!!!”
Thommo’s roommate said that he never really knows when Mad Monday ends and Thommo’s own disgusting lifestyle starts. Adding,
“He’s really tying one off. I reckon the 2006 Eagles team would feel queasy if they saw his antics. Fark knows how he’s still got a job. He appears to be at the pub every day. Probably pulling a WFH ruse”
For most of his Mad Monday he’s been flying solo but a forward pocket from the team dusted himself off after 3 days and rejoined Thommo’s march towards liver failure finals. He told The Times,
“I think he’s ripped through all his savings buying a new costume every time he soils the one he has one. He refuses to just wear normal clothing because he keeps saying it’s Mad Monday. It’s not, its fkn September mate”
Thommo is expected to start cooling the jets a few weeks out from the start of the next season. Will his body hold up to the gruelling pre-season? God no.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
