IN FOCUS: eFoil board riders

Electric hydrofoils aka eFoils are the perfect watercraft for the person who sees themselves as some sort of cross between Laird Hamilton and Tony Stark. 

It’s essentially $18k worth of cutting edge technology to tell the world that you really can’t be farked learning to surf. After all, surfing requires aerobic fitness and dealing with frightening waves. 

In reality, the eFoil is more like a jet ski for people who don’t want to be associated with jet ski culture. Thus, you will most often spot an eFoil going from the boot of a new Range Rover to the glassy, safe waters of your local river or beach. 

Riders probably gravitate towards the eFoil for a sense of “freedom”. Well, WA red tape has well and truly dropped its regulatory dacks and left an absolute steamer on that dream. 

eFoils are classed as PWCs and need to be registered. Furthermore as they are classed as vessels they also must abide by local council bylaws in respect to the launching of water craft. 

You could, of course, take the risk by launching where you please but never underestimate how little a local ranger has to do with their day. 

Before you can spend your weekends getting a drone photographer to film you “flying” across the water you’ll need to learn how to use the eFoil. Over time, this endless footage of yourself will replace all the greasy sites on your browser. Froffin’ over it. 

If ridden sensible this probably won’t be a crazy learning curve but you’re not going to impress all the bikini babes on shore if you ride your $18k beast like a timid novice, are ya?

To the contrary, you’ll probably test out that accelerator in your hand and treat the peanut gallery to a re-enactment of Griff Tannen charging Marty McFly. They WILL enjoy that.

Showing off in the early stages will be a one way ticket to eating shitsville – and seeing as they can reach 40kph+ you may feel like Marilyn Manson after that rib surgery every school kid knows he had.

Or worse, treat yourself to a little aquatic circumcision if things were to go catastrophically wrong. If you’re a real skidmark you’ll be cutting through more crowded swimming destinations, so you could even snag a kid.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?