Against the odds, the little shit you went to school with who was no stranger to the area outside Garbo’s food court has become a contributing member of society.
While it didn’t look great for the bloke 20 years ago, it can be confirmed that he is now a professional earning a 6 figure salary with a loving wife and healthy kids.
We spoke to a SOR Private School alumni who told The Times,
“We always were worried he’d go too deep into the Applecross High scene but he stayed true to his private school roots and managed to get through a degree and yeah, now I think he’s some kind of nepo-baby corporate guy”
Indeed he is, commanding a team of men loyal to his father’s employ, the former Garbo-rat now punches darts on The Terrace.
Remember, this is a guy who once tried to jump over the majestic crystal water feature to get away from a seccys after lobbing a soft serve at Macca’s staff and tore his sack.
We managed to secure an exclusive interview with the bloke who told us,
“Ayyyy, remember when we used to pull cones in the weird little amphitheatre out back before movies? Man, I used to be the best at using nail polish remover to change my TransPerth card’s date to make it look like I was over 15, I was the man bro”
The Times has no comment about his inference however we asked him how life at the top was going. He told us,
“Honestly, when you’re from a bit of money and didn’t land yourself into any real legal issues you’ll be sweet. Miss those days”
No doubt you do.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?