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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

Netball Team A Little Scared Of What Friend Becomes When She’s On The Court

Belle April 16, 2024

By all reports, Nat is the sort of stand-up woman that would give you the shirt off her back. A pillar of the community and…

View More Netball Team A Little Scared Of What Friend Becomes When She’s On The Court
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Margaret River Pro

Belle April 16, 2024

Jai lives for the Margaret River Pro each year because he figures it’s his best shot to convince a girl he’s a bit of a…

View More Mr Margaret River Pro
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

Perth Woman Recreates the Magic of Sail Croatia by Power-Yacking Off Mate’s Boat

Belle April 15, 2024

In a rare moment of life imitating Instagram caption art, Sophia brought her #takemeback post about Sail Croatia to fruition by overindulging on a mate’s…

View More Perth Woman Recreates the Magic of Sail Croatia by Power-Yacking Off Mate’s Boat
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In The Life Of An Office Admin Worker

Belle April 15, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

8:00 am – I wake up to my morning ritual P!nk songs followed by briefing Mr Whiskers and Sergeant Snuggles about who I will crush…

View More A Day In The Life Of An Office Admin Worker
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Riverside property owners wondering what Hyde Park is going to do with all those shot hole borer larvae

Belle April 15, 2024

Affluent residents from Rossmoyne to Peppermint Grove have been more than a little curious as to what the City of Vincent is going to do…

View More Riverside property owners wondering what Hyde Park is going to do with all those shot hole borer larvae
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Kane Cornes accuses West Coast of tanking after thumping Richmond 

Belle April 14, 2024

SEN’s top blowhard Kane Cornes has sensationally accused The West Coast Eagles of tanking after witnessing their dominate performance against Richmond at Perth Stadium. Cornes…

View More Kane Cornes accuses West Coast of tanking after thumping Richmond 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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