Perth breeder introduces mandatory 6 week Tamagotchi trial for prospective pet owners

Tired of boneheads underestimating the commitment of owning an animal, a Perth breeder has made the novel move to require all prospective buyers to complete a 6-week trial with a Tamagotchi. 

It’s understood that the move will help open the eyes of anyone thinking owning a puppy is a walk in the park. 

Anyone who has owned a Tamagotchi will remember the time and effort involved in keeping the little digital sucker alive. The breeder told The Times,

“Look, if you can’t keep a digital pet alive then you really have no business owning a living creature. If it’s a fashion accessory you want just stick with the Tamagotchi”

By all reports, the first trial was a resounding success. We spoke to the prospective buyer who questioned her abilities to keep a designer hound happy & healthy,

“OMG why does my Tamagotchi keep dying?! What am I doing wrong? It has really made me realise what a neglectful, superficial piece of shit I am. I think I’ll wait on buying a sentient being”

Another prospective buyer said he was angered by being asked to carry the kid’s toy around for 6 weeks. Adding,

“There is no way keeping a living creature alive is as hard as keeping a fkn Tamagotchi alive. I told her to shove it up her arse and sell me the damn dog. She just smiled and said the vetting process had worked. Before telling me to get the hell out of her home”

We understand other breeders are interested in introducing a similar condition to all buyers. Perhaps even a houseplant or two to see if they can follow basic instructions. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?