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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Study confirms getting a clear run to race the train along the Freeway is the best feeling in the world

Belle April 7, 2024

Science has finally confirmed what every Perth motorist has known for some time – that the feeling of the stars aligning for you to have…

View More Study confirms getting a clear run to race the train along the Freeway is the best feeling in the world
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Reverse Parallel Parkaphobe Not Cut Out For The East Vic Park Dining Scene 

Belle April 7, 2024

Jesse is a 25-year-old coward and all-round inept driver who has consistently let the anxiety of having to perform a reverse parallel park stop her…

View More Reverse Parallel Parkaphobe Not Cut Out For The East Vic Park Dining Scene 
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Jet Ski Ownership

Belle April 6, 2024 Bogan

There comes a time in every bogan’s life when they realise they need to invest in their future. So you apply for a personal loan…

View More IN FOCUS: Jet Ski Ownership
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Visiting doctor selflessly takes time out of Perth trip to help understaffed health system

Belle April 6, 2024

World renowned physician, Dr Johnny Sins, has selflessly swooped in to attend to patients at several of Perth’s hospitals which have been under the pump…

View More Visiting doctor selflessly takes time out of Perth trip to help understaffed health system
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Young Parents Find Themselves Smashing Bluey Reruns When Kid Isn’t Even Around

Belle April 5, 2024

A couple of young parents have begun to wonder who enjoys Bluey more, them or their child? This quandary comes after they have found themselves…

View More Young Parents Find Themselves Smashing Bluey Reruns When Kid Isn’t Even Around
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

WA Couple Waiting On Bluey To Address Parenting Issue Before Making Any Rash Decisions

Belle April 5, 2024

WA couple, Sam & Simone have decided to hold off on whether to confront their boy’s AusKick coach over not giving him a fair go…

View More WA Couple Waiting On Bluey To Address Parenting Issue Before Making Any Rash Decisions

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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