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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Friday, October 31, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Little Fat Lamb

Belle January 18, 2020

Every now and then a beverage cements itself as cirrhosis on the overburdened liver of Australia’s drinking culture. Sure there is stronger & cheaper piss…

View More IN FOCUS: Little Fat Lamb
Sports, Auto & Hobbies Featured

The Amateur ASX Investor

Belle January 8, 2020

Up until a year ago, society held so much hope for Jack. He had worked hard, saved up a respectable deposit and was about to…

View More The Amateur ASX Investor
Success

The Bell Tower Times Year in Review 2019

Belle December 29, 2019

1. Geraldton v Boardshort ban – ScoMo did the unimaginable, he declared that boardshorts and thongs were banned from citizenship ceremonies on Australia Day. Little…

View More The Bell Tower Times Year in Review 2019
Party & Entertainment

Mr Work X-Mas Party

Belle December 19, 2019

Keith is a walking sexual harassment complaint. A triple smoked ham of a man that has been counting down the days until he can get…

View More Mr Work X-Mas Party
Rottnest Island
Reckons Featured

7 Types of People on Rottnest Island

Belle December 19, 2019 BoatTravel

Ms Rottofornia Rotto is the undisputed premier location for like-whoring on Instagram. Ms Rottofornia will immediately fall into a #blessed trance as she loses controld…

View More 7 Types of People on Rottnest Island
From the Zoo

POSTCODES: Bunbury 6230

Belle November 27, 2019

Welcome to Bunbury the jewel in the South West’s crown of shame. Come and experience why people choose to holiday in Margaret River instead. Getting…

View More POSTCODES: Bunbury 6230

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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