Pope Leo XIV to make pilgrimage to Kelmscott to bless Red Roota’s spiritual home

In one of Pope Leo XIV first acts as the new Pope, the holy man will be visiting Kelmscott to bless a location that he knows is very special to the Westralian people.

Kelmscott is of course the home to the first Red Roota store in the state and birthplace of the Hawaiian pack. In a statement supplied exclusively to The Times, Pope Leo said,

“It is important that I visit all the sacred locations across the globe to show those people that the Catholic Church loves them. I am pretty excited to try deep fried pineapple too”

The WA Government said the pilgrimage is a positive step forward for not only the State catholic community but every hungover slob that heeds a Roota feed after an egregious amount of the froffs the night before.

The people of Kelmscott are urged to take their carpark wristy sessions away from the area for a day or two. A request that is unlikely to be followed.

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