Family Getting Away From Perth Slam Small Town For Not Having Every Luxury Of Perth

A Perth family’s attempt at a rustic WA regional holiday has hit the rocks after their entitlement hit critical levels only moments after arriving in the town.

Cracks started to form when the kids realised mobile phone coverage wasn’t always perfect out bush. This also meant the matriarch, Sue, was unable to check the results of her many, many questions to FB groups asking for recommendations. 

Sue’s face could only be described as a scowling eagle moments before booting an egg out of its own nest. She told The Times,

“I will be referring my complaint to the mayor of this so-called town! How am I meant to make a decision on where to get a coffee without some stranger on FB telling me that they had a good experience there! Am I supposed to just RISK it?”

Next on their gripe list was the quality of rural roads. Sue was writing her complaint in her head as she fumed,

“Some of these roads are so bumpy that I can’t nap between tourist attractions! How they consider these conditions first world is beyond me. Look, see this? That’s a Coke Zero stain after Craig hit a pothole! On my NEW SHIRT!”

Naturally, things went from bad to worse when they discovered the caravan park they were staying at didn’t have half the features of a 5-star resort in their beloved Seminyak. Craig told The Times,

“We had to wait 10 minutes to check in, pretty bloody ordinary if you ask me. Why can’t they get more staff on? Also why isn’t there a pool bar? If you think I’ll be paying full price for this dogshit then you got another thing coming!”

However, things truly came to a head when Sue was forced to share a toilet with an unwanted visitor. How a rural accommodation provider could allow a huntsman to crawl into a basic ablution facility was BEYOND HER. 

So enraged that she encountered a bug in the outback, the family decided to make an example of the joint. Leaving a scathing 1 star review before going on to make a seasonal waitress cry over for not having their preferred brand of oat milk. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?