Trump is on a roll calling for ceasefires that participants seemingly haven’t agreed upon. First up, was Iran and now he’s claiming he’s squashed a long running beef between the emu army and Australia.
In a statement sent exclusively to The Times, the President said,
“I know a lot of Emus, I know a lot of Australians, great guys, importantly they respect me. People are always saying President Trump, the emus respect you, they do, they like to win, so they know peace is in their interest against the Australians, it will be the best peace ever reached, no one has seen peace like this”
According to Trump, the descendants of the great emu army will stop their guerilla attacks on Aussie campers – included but not limited to food raids.
However, a spokesemu for the highly organised group deny any such agreement was made. This was conveyed with a series of vicious pecks to our microphones.
Similarly, the Australian Military has denied agreeing to it. With a spokesperson adding,
“Emus do not seek peace, they do not welcome peace, they will not give us peace. President Trump must have his wires crossed”
Well there you go.
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