Trump refuses to budge on price of used AUKUS submarines, saying “no low ballers, I no wat I got”

Trump is furious at the growing chorus of haters saying Australia is paying far too much for steaming piles of second-hand shit under the AUKUS deal.

Critics claim that for $368 Billion we should at least get a new, state of the art sub, not the leftovers in the American Military Industrial Complex buffet.

Taking to Facebook, the self-styled deal artist addressed the price and quality of the subs in classic FB style,

“PRICE FIRM NO LOW BALLERS I NO WAT I GOT”

Naturally, this post caused an influx of eager punters wanting to know if the subs were still available. Which only angered him and turned his complexion more of a blood orange.

A source close to Trump said it was a classic case of people just not understanding quality. Adding,

“This is a reluctant sale for Trump so he’s not letting them go for a dollar less, you know how it is, the first lady says he has to clean out his military garage to make some room, you people are lucky to even get the opportunity to own this second hand subs”

Trump has also hit back at claims he tried to push the sale through with a Western Union transfer, telling The Times,

“Nobody makes deals like me, nobody. We gave Australia a tremendous deal, a beautiful deal, and they’re saying it’s a scam. Can you believe it? They say Western Union, Western Union! These people don’t understand deals. Sad! Very sad!”

He truly is a deal maker.

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