News that the Bullsbrook Quarantine Facility could be used as a new prison has sent a wave of crime through the city as renters try to get indicted to boost their applications for a place.
Everything from cheeky car jackings to full blown corporate fraud are going down as real estate agents warn getting a place in the new facility will be competitive.
We spoke to one such parasite who told The Times,
“It’s a bit of a lotto at the moment because we’re not sure if it will be maximum or minimum security so we are asking applicants to go for mid range crimes. Don’t go too big or too small, we’re looking for the goldilocks of indictable offences”
We spoke to one renter who said after careful deliberation he was going to aim for Assault Occasioning Bodily Harm, adding,
“That’s the sweet spot I think. When I went to inspect the prison the real estate agent said he’d already had some very strong applications from GBH offenders but I don’t want to break my mate’s jaw, that’s probably going a little far”
If you need any tips getting indicted you should spend a morning down at the Magistrate’s Court to see where the line between summary and indictable offences is drawn as those “either way” offences are the safest. With one expert saying,
“Some offences can be dealt with summarily or by indictment depending on the facts. What you don’t want is to go full armed robbery and be straight into the big leagues, you’ll just end up at Casuarina which isn’t anywhere near as nice as Bullsbrook”
There you go.
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