UWA students will be offered a free bridging course to help adapt to the possibilities of having to share facilities with students not born into the Golden Triangle.
The poors often failed to attend a private school and their boorish, outer suburban behaviour can be distressing to the silverspoonlings that grace the elite halls of UWA.
An expert in inter-suburban mingling told The Times that the course was badly needed. Adding,
“At the moment the details are a little skint but what we do know is that if these campuses merge, a UWA student may have to park their car next to a Murdoch kid’s car which may be from the mid 2000s. How do we expect our elite to concentrate after an encounter like that?”
It’s a fair point. We decided to get a feel for how UWA feels about the merger so we asked a random student. They told The Times,
“Yeah gross, is the Tav going to have to start serving Woodstock cans? What if one bites me? Do we stock adequate rabies shots? It’s a lot to take in and honestly I hope it doesn’t go ahead”
On the other hand, Curtin & Murdoch students have their own reservations. With many saying that they’d rather cop a Coke & Mentos enema than have to deal with golden triangle kids all day. With one such cretin telling The Times,
“Where’s our bridging course to deal with them? I swear one of those faux-leather white Birkentstocks will end up in someone’s mouth if they ask me why I catch the bus in”
Very fair indeed.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?