Perth Airport has come up with an ingenious way to help punters navigate through the labyrinthine mess of a car park by introducing a bloodthirsty mythical beast to really up the escape stakes.
Not only do the windy circular roads create confusion but the roadworks have delivered another cockpunch to the balls of commuter sanity.
By all accounts, the labyrinth claims multiple victims’ souls per day so action had to be taken. A spokesperson told The Times,
“Yeah, no one wants to come to Perth Airport and be lost to wander the maze for eternity with the rest of the damned. It looks terrible for our annual ratings after all. So we spoke to leading clusterfuck specialists and they told us that perhaps motivation was the issue. How BADLY did commuters want to escape to the relative safety of Tonkin or Great Eastern Highway?”
Obviously, it was decided “not bad enough”. That’s where the Minotaur comes in. The spokesperson continued,
“We figure people are going to try a lot harder to work out the mess of a car park with the minotaur hot on their heels. In the initial trial period we’ll be begging the monster to just provide warning axings but those may very well lead to actual axings as his rage dictates. I think we’ll clear the maze pretty quick, don’t you?”
We took the idea to the streets and asked a man whether the threat of a monstrous demise would help him navigate the car park better. He told The Times,
“Sure, I guess, I think maybe just a rethink of design and better signage would be better but fleeing for my life has merit to. I’m glad this Government is actually testing solutions”
Another woman we spoke to didn’t sound as convinced. Saying she wasn’t sure her tax dollars should be spent on a murderous entity. Adding,
“Why couldn’t we have got Pegasus in to fly us all out? Instead, I’m paying to be tormented by a rampaging bull-man. Typical Labor, that’s why I’ll be voting for the greens next election”
Valid concerns all around.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
