The AFL has taken unprecedented steps to stop bandwagoners purchasing tickets to the Flagmantle finals campaign.
Under new rules, anyone seeking to purchase a Fremantle Docker’s ticket at home must provide 10 years of social media meltdown history.
A source close to the AFL said the move was tough but necessary, adding,
“Are you truly a Dockers’ fan if you haven’t spent decades wondering why you were doing it to yourself? True Freo fans have been in the trenches for a long time and now there is a bright beacon of hope”
We spoke to a lucky ticketholder who provided the AFL with 20 years of meltdowns, he told The Times,
“They wanted 10 years but I that wasn’t even scratching the surface, I provided them with the lot, all the way back to my MySpace days, they were impressed and upgraded by ticket to a corporate suite”
We understand bandwagoners, influencers and content creators are desperately trying to doctor the evidence so they too can milk the finals for their own gain.
Good luck but you can’t replicate the kind of frustrated passion a Docker’s support wears on their sleeve.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?