Anko proudly unveils new hospital equipment range for savvy health systems

Everyone’s favourite purveyor of cheap shit has decided to branch out into medical equipment after already conquering the individual consumer market.

Not content with just filling share houses with convenient coke-plates, the manufacturing giant has released its first MRI machine that it is selling for a very reasonable $99,999 to Health Systems all over the world.

A medical imaging machine expert said that Anko was disrupting the field, adding,

“Big MRI wants you to believe these babies are worth millions but honestly, do you need an MRI to be THAT accurate? These Anko models promise to pick up abnormalities in the brain with a tiny 1-2inch margin for error, pretty good I reckon”

Anko isn’t just stopping at medical imaging machines. It is also on the cusp of releasing its own robotic surgery machine that it says can do everything from chopping up a cucumber to keyhole surgery.

A surgeon who didn’t want to be named said it wasn’t his first choice, but everyone had to cut their budget these days, adding,

“You’ve seen those surgical robots that can peel a grape? Well, the Anko can’t do that, but it can get to the red bit of a watermelon and honestly that’s 80% of most surgeries, just getting in there, let’s see how it goes”

The future truly is now.

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