They say you don’t know what you have got until it’s gone. This is very true for City of Melville resident Ben who recently found himself in need of some Department of Transport services.
We spoke to Ben who said he was “disgusted” at the available options to go and sort out his licence issue. Telling The Times,
“Last time I had to actually go in was in 2018. Little did I know that was the last time I ever would set foot in that hallowed office. It’s where I failed my driver’s test 4 times and got away with lying about my 25 hours to get my P Plates. It meant a lot to me and now I’m forced to go to Success, wtf?”
Indeed, requiring any inner SOR resident to venture to the dirty South is an act of aggression. His other options were Cannington or City West. Both, in his view, were unacceptable, he added,
“Yeah righto champ, I’ll just pop down to Cannington and end up with a screwdriver sticking out of my car bonnet or neck shall I? Or City West, are you kidding? What even is City West? Why does it exist? Why did they take Willagee away from me?”
Ben’s sentiment was echoed by driver instructors who admitted they got a real “sick thrill” from leading learners to their doom on Leach Highway. It was a fantastic spot to see a notice driver cack their dacks after dealing with one of Leach Highway’s finest road ragers.
We asked a source close to the Department of Transport who admitted that the Willagee office was a fantastic location for anyone living along SOR’s golden stretch – from Rossmoyne to Freo. They added,
“It was a little too convenient. That was the issue. The DoT requires its pound of flesh each and every time you go in for a basic service. It’s why they thrive off. So they wanted to make sure these cashed up SOR gronks experienced the right level of hair pulling”
It’s good to have some closure. Not that it will relax Ben much. He eventually decided to not deal with crossing the city and was last spotted in Success.
He hasn’t been heard from since.
Bring back Willagee.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
