WA Police have urged copper thieves operating primarily in Ellenbrook & Mandurah to stop immediately given Gen X only know when to return home when the street lights come on.
An exclusive statement to The Times reads,
“We are noticing hundreds of people from Generation X just blindly wandering around areas that experience copper theft. Simply put copper thieves are putting them in danger, please, let them go home! Their mother’s instructions were very clear 40 years ago”
We went to Ellenbrook last night as the sun was setting and instantly could see there was an issue.
We spoke to a man in a TISM shirt who was berating bar staff for their lack of mixed grill on the menu. He told us,
“Something strange is going on around here, I’ve been at this pub for 3 straight days, it’s a never ending day for me, did you know when I was growing up we’d get kicked out of the house in the morning and told not to come back until the street lights came on? It was mintox”
Good lord. Another second of that conversation would amount to a breach of the Geneva Conventions. Please, for the love of all that’s holy return the copper!
Get them off our streets!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?