Eagle Bay Homeowners Traumatised After Learning Details Of Riff Raff Airbnb’ing Their Pad

For years, a wealthy Cottesloe couple has chosen to turn a blind eye to who rents their million-dollar property in Eagle Bay. They let the money roll in while being wistfully unaware in a Grange-induced stupor.

That’s until one fateful afternoon when the couple decided to helicopter down south to attend a close friend’s wedding. Riddled with curiosity, they decided to do a drive-by of their holiday home to finally see the truth of their impersonal rental arrangement. 

We spoke with Cynthia who almost collapsed into a reality-heap when she saw the cars parked outside her property. She told The Times,

Rav 4s? How ghastly. These cars were plastered with stick figure family stickers and another sticker indicating they purchased the vehicle from Toyota Mandurah. I almost lost my caviar canape lunch over the sight”.

It only got worse from there. Homeowner Andrew said he could barely pay attention to the weird semi-arranged aristocrat wedding he’d come down for. He told The Times,

“I waited for the savages to leave our abode to go about their day. Then I snuck in and saw the cheap wine they purchased. I saw the Smiths’ chips they snacked on. I saw the supermarket meat. How did we let this happen? Where are the standards!”

Needless to say, Andrew spent the remainder of his time Down South trying to get through to the AirBNB legal department to make his thoughts known. A witness to the affluent man’s rage told The Times,

“I overheard him on the phone to someone saying that the stink of poor had seeped into his walls and that Airbnb was negligent in protecting his property from inter-class pollution. He also said the fridge would have to be replaced after spotting a bacon & cheese dip in it”

To make matters worse, a snitchy neighbour they rely on to feed them intel informed them that the family staying in their Airbnb had invited another family along to make the trip more affordable. One adult couple slept on the pull out couch.

It was never distressing.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?