Garden & Outdoor Living Festival

Couple evicted from Garden & Outdoor Living Festival after failing to cause sufficient aisle rage with wanderer cart 

A day at the Langley Park Garden & Outdoor Living Festival has turned sour for a couple after they were accused of showing undue consideration with the way they conducted themselves around the show with their wanderer cart. 

The trouble started just minutes after they entered the plant market. Onlookers described the “renegades” as constantly checking to see if their wanderer cart was blocking other people’s rolls. 

They even went as far as to apologise when they realised their cart bumped another cart. By all accounts, it was a disgusting display of respect for one’s fellow gardener. A witness told The Times,

“Not only did they attempt to minimise the chaotic impact these wanderer carts were having at the show but they were actually using them to carry plants! Their cart was full! Who do they think they are? At this show we lug around an empty cart inconsiderately and create more congestion than a nostril at the spring racing carnival”

The final straw was when the couple were observed to physically leave the plant market after recognising that it had become too busy. One of them waited by the cart in an open space while the other went in to pick out the final pieces of their floral puzzle. A witness told The Times,

“That’s when the alarm was raised. A mob of cart-wielding gardeners formed around the couple and demanded they be removed for crimes against being an obnoxious cartcunt. You could tell the security didn’t know what to do. They were scared of something going down”

Ultimately, the couple happily complied with their marching orders. One of them even asked the crowd what has happened to society. He kept screaming, are we no better than animals, flinging our dung around a lawless jungle? 

Everyone was thinking, no, no we’re not, and we like it that way, buddy. Some people have far too much audacity. 

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