Admittedly, a day at the cricket isn’t a white knuckle thrill ride. Due to weather and the general pace of the game, fans often find themselves waiting for a few drops of excitement like a nurse at a sloth spunk bank.
Mexican waves used to do a lot of the heavy lifting for fighting boredom but thanks to fun-hating members sections the wave always felt incomplete. So, rather than waiting for members to have the fuddy duddy stick removed from their snob-holes, fans looked elsewhere for fun.
No one quite knows, who, where or when but someone had their Eureka moment when they looked on in awe at the engineering marvel of a plastic beer cup – they are designed to be stacked.
It was a no brainer. An activity that combined binge drinking and teamwork, the cornerstones of Aussie social sport. Thus the beer snake was born and became a staple at cricket games all over the country.
Western Australia was quick to perfect the art and hungered for a thick python like a Casino cougar at happy hour. Early specimens were observed in the mid 90s but in 2007 a record of 23m was allegedly set at the WACA. This one from 2008 (M Potts) must be a contender too:
Or this bad boy from 2018 (Lachlan):
Sadly, this record was broken by fans at the SCG in the Australia v Sri Lankan washout. Without any official measurement, the record is about as reliable as a fisherman without a camera but they claim between 100-175m (S Byrne).
Cricket Australia and the venues were probably never as keen on beer snakes as the punters but over time the practice has been banned due to CA wanting to create a “family environment”. There is also a small chance the snake can explode and cause a plastic shower.
Modern problems need modern solutions and the ability to create a snake under the watchful eye of the fun police is a true art. Often needing to make multiple snakes and then combining them to form a mighty beer-a-conda.eur
Naturally, the ban has only made fans hungrier to form a snake and if anything adds more excitement in a spectator sport that often needs it.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
