Perth couple, Jay and Bridget have been in the process of having their house built for the past 3 years. Alas, with builders folding or demanding more funds to cover rising costs, they finally said stuff it. The slab will do. Jay and Bridget would be lying if they said they wouldn’t prefer a few extra “homely” features such as 4 walls, roofing, plumbing, electricity etc, but concede that for now, the slab is all they are going to get.
We spoke to Jay who was busy putting up a tarpaulin to act as their roof for the foreseeable future. He told The Times,
“Building has been a nightmare but that nightmare is now over. All we had to do was drastically lower our expectations on what our home would be. We shouldn’t complain, some people are having to shack up with relatives or sell their dogs. At least we’ve got the slab”
Bridget was also forced to flush her household dreams down the non-existent toilet but said she was coming around to the slab life, adding,
“We had a slab-warming and one of my friends bought this ECU arty chick who said everyone was talking about this construction-chic. Said it was very cool and she could see it becoming the new pretentious trend”
Jay remained optimistic and said that once you get past the exposure to the elements and general “hardness” of the space it had great potential, adding,
“The other day we were having a glass of wine on the slab and some loose fencing blew in and creamed me right in the arm. Wine went everywhere and we just laughed that we could just hose it down. Can’t do that with carpet can ya?”
Real estate agents in the area have already started circling like vultures. Wondering if the couple would like to rent out a corner of the slab to rent seekers. Claiming in this market you could rent out a 2X2m section of slab for about 400pw.
Bridget considered the offer but declined,
“It was tempting but with the lack of doors we think that having another family on the slab might ruin our privacy. We already have people from the road being able to look in and see us knock boots after all”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?