New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has shocked the political world by announcing her resignation from the top job today. In an emotional statement, she thanked New Zealand for the time they had together but conceded it was time to get a job on the WA moines like every other Kiwi.
A source close to the politician told The Times that while leading NZ was a great ride she knew in her heart of hearts that she needed to pursue her true calling in life. Adding,
“She’s in her early 40s so the time is ticking to rack up some serious coin on the moines. While she has no formal training in Scaffolding she says that her Kiwi-senses would kick in as soon as she arrived on site. No one knows how but every New Zealander has an ability to scaff”
In perhaps less shocking scenes, the PM was seen hanging around outside Perth Airport today asking the assorted HiVis-clad FIFO workers if they knew of any work going up north. Most told her that labour hire companies are a farken joke and she’d probably get a gig because she’s an immigrant.
We spoke to Big Dave who ranted to the PM about the shitfabrains scaffies he has to deal with on a regular basis. He told The Times,
“I told her that she can’t be as bad as the rest of these muppets and to give my bud Darren a call. Reminded her not to mention me name because he’s still not over me porking his misso ha ha”
While some would suggest she’s overqualified for the gig, others would like to remind you that Australia’s entire economy is being supported by mining and a FIFO worker is the most important job in the world. Far more prestigious than being PM.
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