“See, she does love me!” Celeste loudly exclaimed from her bed this morning after her cat dropped a succulent meal of freshly slaughtered bird on her clean bed sheets.
It comes after a tumultuous few weeks where Celeste believed her fur baby was trying to get back at her for the diet she put him on by repeatedly finding ways to need vet visits. She told The Times,
“His full name Catting Tatum aka Magic Mike after my future husband he he but truth be told he’s the only man in my life, I think this morning brekkie in bed really put my mind at rest as to whether Magic Mike would feast on my body if I was to drop off suddenly”
To celebrate, Celeste decided to launch a no holds barred assault on social media. Not only posting a weird collage of special moments with her disinterested pet but also calling out to all the other cat saddos to stand together today and feel seen.
A long suffered social media acquaintance of Celeste said the scenes were “pretty tough to get through”, adding,
“Yeah, I think it’s time for Celeste to give eHarmony another go or whatever is appropriate for cat people. Still, that dead bird looked better than the Dome brekkie I was subjected to this morning by my so-called loving kids, so yeah, maybe she’s right”
To see out the day, Celeste plans to take her cat to the park in a pram, so she can spend time with her fur baby and he can scope out next year’s brekkie.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?