Baysie To Replace Wrecked Fitzroy Crossing Bridge In A Last Minute Reprieve For The Hungry Girl

The WA Government has taken advantage of some convenient timing with the destruction of the Bayswater Bridge to commence in April and the commencement of the new Fitzroy Crossing bridge to commence in May. 

Engineers have explicitly told the Government that the bridge over Fitzroy River needs to be far stronger given the inevitability it will once again get hammered by raging floods in the region. It only took Government ministers a few seconds to put two and two together. A spokesperson for WA told The Times,

“It’s all pretty convenient actually because we’ve been told by our contractors that they weren’t sure that the bridge could be demolished or they feared it’d fight back So this way we can simply detach her from the weaker road and send her up north to take on a new life”

The plan, naturally, isn’t without risk. With some questioning the irony of having to use a big truck to transport the unbreakable structure up north. A logistics expert told The Times,

“Would you put a crocodile on a juicy chicken’s back and expect the chicken to still be there in 15 hours? We don’t really have many other options given the Russians destroyed that big arse plane we are so fond of but yeah, what could go wrong ay?”

There is also opposition from natural disaster experts who say they feared what would happen when an unstoppable flood force met an unmovable Baysie bridge. One adding,

“If none of the water can pass, what will happen to it? We worry that the bridge may be too effective and cause flooding in the opposite direction. We’ve seen time & time again that when the big girl is hungry she won’t let any truck pass, so what happens when the big girl is thirsty?”

Time will only tell. Go well Baysie and enjoy your second life after being a condemned girl. 

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