An unscrupulous WA retailer has been caught selling resealed Prime bottles containing a generous lashing of his own steaming hot piss. He got the idea after tasting one of the drinks and determining that no one would notice.
For over a week, the man had sold 100s of bottles to unsuspecting teens. An expert in consumer protection said the man could get away with the caper for so long based on two factors. He told The Times,
“Firstly, the retailer was right, on a taste test you couldn’t tell the difference between this sports drink and human piss but more importantly, most of his customers never actually wanted to drink the shit either. They just wanted to re-sell the bottles at a profit”
His operation came to a grinding halt when he actually started getting high off his own supply. After finding the body was so keen to reject the bullshit hydration liquid that it’d make him urinate 10 times faster.
Alas, the foul taste of real Prime actually seeped through too much into his comparatively delicious piss and the drink took on a slightly more disgusting than usual taste. This got the attention of one mother who finally caved in and took her son to Woolies to get a bottle. She told The Times,
“Something didn’t taste right about it. So I took it for independent testing and the results shocked me. It turns out that it didn’t just taste like human waste but it WAS human waste. I don’t think any of the drink’s fans would’ve notice but I’m not an idiot who followers a scamming YouTube fuckstick”
Logan Paul has condemned the retailer. Stating that Prime contains a maximum of 15% real human piss and 100% was just taking it too far. Or as some might say, taking the piss.