The Western Australian Police Force has extended a heartfelt thank you to the NRL for rounding up all of the City’s troublemakers in one convenient place. As a result of the double header at Perth Stadium, there is practically no crime in the greater Perth area.
The back-to-back games between Dolphins v Knights & Rabbitohs v Sharks are clearly too much for NRL fans to resist. A spokesperson for the Police told The Times,
“We haven’t received a single call out. Not one. Crime has basically vanished from Perth which is a great sign but we expect things to heat up quite significantly at the conclusion of the double header. Luckily, we have them where we want them”
We spoke to a Warnbro resident who said she hadn’t heard a single burnout or angry outburst in over an hour. Claiming it was nice but eerie, adding,
“I saw a bunch of people in NRL gear heading towards the train station. It was a who’s who of the community crime reports page. Thank goodness we can have some peace while they all celebrate their favourite game”
A Belmont resident also reported that they hadn’t even seen one ridiculous road rage incident all day. They told The Times,
“I took a walk down to Great Eastern Highway and I didn’t see anyone jumping on top of a car in traffic, ripping off an antenna and claiming king kong ain’t got nothing on them. That’s very rare. Thankyou NRL double header”
The public is advised to go out and have a good time but to make sure they are home at LEAST 20 minutes before the end of the second game. It could get hairy.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?