Rumbling in Perth Sharehouse: Kiwi Bloke’s NRL Night Ends with a 5.6 Magnitude Hangover

A Baldivis sharehouse thought they were woken up by a Perthquake this morning. Alas, it was only their Kiwi housemate’s ill effects from a big night at the NRL double header at Perth Stadium yesterday.

At approximately 5:30 am, the housemates felt a violent rumbling pulsate through the house. It took them a minute to get their bearings and it was ultimately the ungodly smell that helped the pcenny drop. Ben told The Times,

“Chur bro, it was just Greg in the toilet. He’d manage to do a little double-ender after the double-header! There was shut and chuck everywhere bro. Disgusting eh!”

Indeed, Greg had been forced to make the ultimate choice as to which end of his body would face the toilet bowl. He ultimately chose badly. In his words,

“That was easily a magnitude 5.6 hangover bro. I wish I’d parked my ass on that bowl though. Looks like the Auckland town barn in there, chur. What a night though. I always turn up for the rugby”

After a respectable 25 mid-strength beers at the stadium and 2 ten packs of Woodies either side, Greg’s bowels rung out like it was Normandy. Neighbouring homes were also affected. A neighbour told The Times,

“He’s a big boy and the shockwaves were felt. You can’t drink that much bourbon & coke and not expect the cavalry to arrive in the morning. It’s got nothing on the last time the All Blacks won in Perth. That was a magnitude 8. I don’t even want to remember that morning”

Please note that some eggheads are claiming it was indeed an Earthquake in the Great Southern Region measuring 5.6 in magnitude. What would they know though?

RELATED: Crime plummets in Perth as City’s NRL fans are busy watching the Double Header at Perth Stadium

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?