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Monday, November 17, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Australia warned to not let England’s home ground advantage rattle them in the first Ashes test in Perth

    The Australian cricket team will be coming in hot to Western Australia aka Not-so-little-England and they should expect a hostile crowd.  In fact, WA now…

    Belle November 17, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    REPORT: Perth UFC fan must be excited for tomorrow’s event because he hasn’t slept since last Tuesday

    Surely Perth UFC fan, Brayden, is excited for tomorrow’s big clash given he hasn’t managed a single week of sleep since last Tuesday. His haters,…

    Belle November 15, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Border Force opens first Indonesian BCF to help illegal fishers adapt to life as WA boat owners

    A special investigation by The Times has revealed Australian Border Force is operating Indonesia’s first BCF store on Rote Island to help the beneficiaries of…

    Belle November 15, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Local Council fines Andrew Lloyd Webber after his CATS cast found roaming Perth park

    West End musical titan Andrew Lloyd Webber has run afoul of local Council regulations after bringing his CATS show to Perth. It seems his unregistered…

    Belle November 14, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    TransPerth commuter suspicious over escalator in perfect working order

    “It must be a trap”, a TransPerth commuter mused as he gazed upon a seemingly functional escalator this morning.  To make matters even more suspicious…

    Belle November 13, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Perth Stadium suffers structural damage as a result of Hardwick’s post-match spray

Belle August 3, 2024

Engineers have released a concerning report this morning after assessing Perth Stadium in the wake of Hardwick’s address to his players after effectively ending their…

View More Perth Stadium suffers structural damage as a result of Hardwick’s post-match spray
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

American Media Reporting They Are at the Top of the AFL 2024 Premiership Ladder

Belle August 1, 2024

The seppos are at it again! Not only do they try to finesse their Olympic standing every 4 years by ordering the tally based on…

View More American Media Reporting They Are at the Top of the AFL 2024 Premiership Ladder
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Impatient storm enthusiast doesn’t realise warnings aren’t specific to his exact address

Belle July 31, 2024

Dan has once again taken to social media to call everyone involved in predicting Perth weather a time-wasting muppet given the unsatisfactory amount of bad…

View More Impatient storm enthusiast doesn’t realise warnings aren’t specific to his exact address
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Mullaloo swimmer reckons the River Seine looks pretty good to him

Belle July 31, 2024

A man who happily swam at Mullalo last summer can’t believe the concerns that athletes are having about competing in the aquatic shittopia that is…

View More Mullaloo swimmer reckons the River Seine looks pretty good to him
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

CUB buys up gigalitres of The Seine to improve the taste of its froffs

Belle July 31, 2024

Carlton & United Breweries saw opportunities where France saw disaster. Offering the European nation a pretty penny for some of that sweet, sweet Seine water. …

View More CUB buys up gigalitres of The Seine to improve the taste of its froffs
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Man’s hunter-gatherer ancestors roll in their grave after he buys rosemary from supermarket

Belle July 30, 2024

A Perth man has finally destroyed the last remaining thread he shared with his distant ancestors by actually purchasing a bunch of rosemary from Woolies…

View More Man’s hunter-gatherer ancestors roll in their grave after he buys rosemary from supermarket

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Australia warned to not let England’s home ground advantage rattle them in the first Ashes test in Perth
  • REPORT: Perth UFC fan must be excited for tomorrow’s event because he hasn’t slept since last Tuesday
  • Border Force opens first Indonesian BCF to help illegal fishers adapt to life as WA boat owners
  • Local Council fines Andrew Lloyd Webber after his CATS cast found roaming Perth park
  • TransPerth commuter suspicious over escalator in perfect working order
  • Tim Winton urges youth to get back into human torpedoing as under 16s social media ban set to strike 

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