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Monday, November 17, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Australia warned to not let England’s home ground advantage rattle them in the first Ashes test in Perth

    The Australian cricket team will be coming in hot to Western Australia aka Not-so-little-England and they should expect a hostile crowd.  In fact, WA now…

    Belle November 17, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    REPORT: Perth UFC fan must be excited for tomorrow’s event because he hasn’t slept since last Tuesday

    Surely Perth UFC fan, Brayden, is excited for tomorrow’s big clash given he hasn’t managed a single week of sleep since last Tuesday. His haters,…

    Belle November 15, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Border Force opens first Indonesian BCF to help illegal fishers adapt to life as WA boat owners

    A special investigation by The Times has revealed Australian Border Force is operating Indonesia’s first BCF store on Rote Island to help the beneficiaries of…

    Belle November 15, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Local Council fines Andrew Lloyd Webber after his CATS cast found roaming Perth park

    West End musical titan Andrew Lloyd Webber has run afoul of local Council regulations after bringing his CATS show to Perth. It seems his unregistered…

    Belle November 14, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    TransPerth commuter suspicious over escalator in perfect working order

    “It must be a trap”, a TransPerth commuter mused as he gazed upon a seemingly functional escalator this morning.  To make matters even more suspicious…

    Belle November 13, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 

Belle July 23, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

6:00 am – I awake the soviet horror of a cold draught creeping into my fortress of warmth. Despite the full frontal heat-assault I launch…

View More A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS True-ish Crime

Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop

Belle July 22, 2024

Legislation has been rushed through parliament to grant the PTA officers the power to confiscate any phone on public transport that is blaring shit music…

View More Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Biden announces plan to get a house on the Mandurah canals and a Dome long mac topped up served extra hot

Belle July 22, 2024

Joe Biden has sent shockwaves through American politics today by announcing he’s stepping aside in the Presidential race due to some lacklustre performances on the…

View More Biden announces plan to get a house on the Mandurah canals and a Dome long mac topped up served extra hot
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

REPORT: Melbourne couldn’t find a clearance at an early 2000s Rugs-a-Million closing down sale

Belle July 21, 2024

The AFL has conceded that one of its most loved sons – the Melbourne Demons – have developed a real and brutal allergy to clearances…

View More REPORT: Melbourne couldn’t find a clearance at an early 2000s Rugs-a-Million closing down sale
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy

Belle July 21, 2024

A man who bases his entire personality around loudly typing “CASH IS KING!” has been admitted to hospital today after maintaining rock hard status since…

View More BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 

Belle July 20, 2024

Australia has vowed to protect its citizens against all future global outages by making pirated copies of the GOAT Windows XP available to all citizens…

View More Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Australia warned to not let England’s home ground advantage rattle them in the first Ashes test in Perth
  • REPORT: Perth UFC fan must be excited for tomorrow’s event because he hasn’t slept since last Tuesday
  • Border Force opens first Indonesian BCF to help illegal fishers adapt to life as WA boat owners
  • Local Council fines Andrew Lloyd Webber after his CATS cast found roaming Perth park
  • TransPerth commuter suspicious over escalator in perfect working order
  • Tim Winton urges youth to get back into human torpedoing as under 16s social media ban set to strike 

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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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