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Tuesday, November 04, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

FB Neighbourhood Group Admin Declares State Of Emergency After Kids On BMXs Sighted Again

Belle April 9, 2024

Admin of a neighbourhood group was forced to interrupt the ongoing inquisition of whose internet was out to alert everyone that 3 kids have once…

View More FB Neighbourhood Group Admin Declares State Of Emergency After Kids On BMXs Sighted Again
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

AusPost announces plans to out-weird the Aldi centre aisle of dreams by next quarter

Belle April 9, 2024

It’s no secret that AusPost’s post offices were the epicentre of strange impulse consumer wares in this country for many years. That’s until German giant…

View More AusPost announces plans to out-weird the Aldi centre aisle of dreams by next quarter
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS WA suburbs & towns

8 Hot Tips For a Whimsical Day Out In Spearwood

Belle April 8, 2024 BTT Travel

Spearwood is a suburb that demands respect. It stands defiantly in the face of gentrification and has that old burb charm that is rare. It’s…

View More 8 Hot Tips For a Whimsical Day Out In Spearwood
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Flagmantle fans launch class action against AFL for nonrefundable deposit on September bus

Belle April 8, 2024 AFLflagmantleFooty

Furious Flagmantle fans have commenced legal action against the AFL after a series of erroneous calls cost them a win against Carlton on the weekend.…

View More Flagmantle fans launch class action against AFL for nonrefundable deposit on September bus
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr. “I Hate EVs”

Belle April 7, 2024

Brolyn wakes up harder than a headshot on Oddjob during a heated session of Goldeneye. He has been dreaming of diesel soot again and deals…

View More Mr. “I Hate EVs”
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Middle Aged Man on Harley Fending the Ladies Off With a Stick After Revving in Freo

Belle April 7, 2024

Lou knows when the female population of Perth gazes upon his newly purchased hog there is a 50:50 chance they’ll think he’s either suffering a…

View More Middle Aged Man on Harley Fending the Ladies Off With a Stick After Revving in Freo

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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