Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Atrocious Aussie Hip Hop

Legislation has been rushed through parliament to grant the PTA officers the power to confiscate any phone on public transport that is blaring shit music on loud speaker. 

The legislation is meant to disrupt the eshification of Perth with a particular focus on Western Sydney “trap music” but extends to any tune likely to make a fellow commuter want to call you a posing little shitstain. 

The legislation set a record for not having one member of parliament oppose it. A spokesperson for the PTA told The Times,

“Look, the last time anyone wants after a long day of work is to get on a train and be subjected to any other Aussie hip hop song than the nosebleed section. There is a special provision in the act to allow for that banger to be played at any volume required”

We spoke to a local wannabe eshay who is currently under investigation for shoplifting at Culture Kings on the weekend. He told The Times,

“Who wants war with Perth’s realest? This won’t stop me 6168 for life. Everytime I get on a train it’s like I’m a DJ and that”

We spoke to a PTA officer who was “itching” to enforce the new laws. Telling The Times,

“Why are these little scrotes listening to Kerser and nodding along like they can relate to the music? Did Kerser buy his thick texta to tag from pocket money his mum gave him? Probably to be fair, I’m gonna smash those phones”

Under the legislation, citizen confiscations will also be permitted. Any member of the public that can’t handle another terrible hip-hop track can boot the phone from the kid’s hand without fear of legal recourse. 

“This represents a big win for society and public transport uses in general”, a spokesperson for the WA Government told The Times. 

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