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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers

    Being born in the Pilbara, Rory swallowed 3 whole flies before he’d even left his mother’s womb as an infant. Some say the additional protein…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre

    A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up

    A festival poster stuck to a fence has once again ruined an ageing millennials day as he did his best to recognise more than 1…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times Business Entertainment

    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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From the Zoo Featured

4 Essential Tips For Selling Your Shitbox On Marketplace

Belle November 29, 2022

Although they didn’t know it at the time, Latin speakers coined the term “caveat emptor” specifically for the second hand FB/Gumtree car market. It’s a…

View More 4 Essential Tips For Selling Your Shitbox On Marketplace
Sports, Auto & Hobbies Featured

Mr “I Should’ve Been Drafted”

Belle November 28, 2022 sports

Jacko peaked so hard in high school that he made the West Coast 2006 Grand Final after-party look like a meditation retreat. Just ask him,…

View More Mr “I Should’ve Been Drafted”
BREAKING NEWS

Ageing DnB fan about one drink away from commandeering Bluetooth for some aggressive jump up

Belle November 27, 2022

It is beyond dispute that 37-year-old Reece is on one at the moment after happily saucing his steak all afternoon during a Sunday session. By…

View More Ageing DnB fan about one drink away from commandeering Bluetooth for some aggressive jump up
BREAKING NEWS Sports

Staunch Aussie proves he doesn’t care about soccer by spending all his time complaining about it

Belle November 27, 2022

A staunch Australian sports fan is doing an excellent job proving that he pays no mind to soccer by launching into several impassioned rants about…

View More Staunch Aussie proves he doesn’t care about soccer by spending all his time complaining about it
From the Zoo Featured

IN FOCUS: Masters Milk Carton Regatta

Belle November 26, 2022

Perth used to have a fever, and the only prescription was the Masters Milk Carton Regatta. An event where the dairy guzzling hordes of Perth…

View More IN FOCUS: Masters Milk Carton Regatta
BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Swan Valley Vineyards Thanks Wine Machine Revellers for Years Worth of Free Nitrogen

Belle November 26, 2022

Fertiliser ain’t cheap so the Swan Valley is extremely thankful that party-goers en route to and from Wine Machine were able to donate a generous…

View More Swan Valley Vineyards Thanks Wine Machine Revellers for Years Worth of Free Nitrogen

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers
  • Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre
  • Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up
  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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