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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Friday, October 31, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Work & Study

The WA Tow Truck Driver

Belle August 2, 2019

His mother calls him David but the prison community know him more affectionately as “Screwdriver”. So it was only fitting that upon his release from…

View More The WA Tow Truck Driver
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr China Drug Cheat Scandal

Belle July 24, 2019

Winfred awakens with a sense of unease. His chiney-sense is tingling. He can’t be sure, but he has an awful suspicion that a nation of…

View More Mr China Drug Cheat Scandal
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Freo Dockers’ Fan 2019

Belle July 8, 2019

Cam never wanted a life of pain & misery for his boy so he waited until he was old enough to make an informed choice…

View More Mr Freo Dockers’ Fan 2019
Travellers

Mr “I’m in Amsterdam!”

Belle July 3, 2019

A trip to Amsterdam is like standing before a timeless piece of artwork strewn across a canvas of rich Euro-history, and then dragging your gurning…

View More Mr “I’m in Amsterdam!”
From the Zoo Uncategorized

IN FOCUS: Nike Bumbag

Belle June 20, 2019

Want everyone to know you are taking a gap year after dropping out of the school of hard knocks? Unfortunately for you, the University of…

View More IN FOCUS: Nike Bumbag
From the Zoo

POSTCODES: Maylands 6051

Belle June 19, 2019

Maylands is a watering hole that welcomes all manner of creature to quench their thirst for suburban enjoyment. Come see why so many people are…

View More POSTCODES: Maylands 6051

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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