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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Sunday, November 02, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Dare Iced Coffee

Belle April 22, 2019

Whether you’re in Hi-Vis or HR is watching you take a wizz; whether you’re pulling a go-slow or rabbiting on about FIFO, you are probably…

View More IN FOCUS: Dare Iced Coffee
From the Zoo

POSTCODES: Mount Lawley 6050

Belle April 21, 2019

Some say you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them; some say all you need is to tell people that you live…

View More POSTCODES: Mount Lawley 6050
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth “Still Too Small” to Avoid Awkward Social Encounter at Late Night Shopping

Belle April 18, 2019

A recent study has concluded that while Perth is large enough to need extended trading on Thursdays it’s still too small to guarantee shoppers won’t…

View More Perth “Still Too Small” to Avoid Awkward Social Encounter at Late Night Shopping
From the Zoo Uncategorized

POSTCODES: South Perth 6151

Belle April 12, 2019

Welcome to South Perth! Spend a day in the land that pubs forgot, with people who don’t want you there. Getting Around To really embrace…

View More POSTCODES: South Perth 6151
From the Zoo Uncategorized

IN FOCUS: Stirling Highway

Belle April 11, 2019

Being a coastal city, it was perhaps unforeseeable that a highway linking central Perth to the beach would ever be popular. Accordingly, no Government since…

View More IN FOCUS: Stirling Highway
From the Zoo

POSTCODES: Butler 6036

Belle April 9, 2019

Enjoy a stunning afternoon in the Government’s boldest attempt to push the limey invaders so far north that they may as well be back in…

View More POSTCODES: Butler 6036

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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