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Sunday, July 06, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Local eshay claims credit for improved SCG turf after supplying some eetswa grass to the adlays

    A local Sydney eshay has claimed credit for the improved SCG turf today after reportedly hooking them up with an “eetswa” deal on some top…

    Belle July 6, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement

    The Times conducted a special report into the growing fad of buying Labubu plush toys. Delving into the bowels of social media, we discovered that…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them

    Birkenstock has urgently recalled all of their Boston shoe range after reflecting on what they unleashed on society. In a revised mission to “decuntify” the…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits

    The group thought to be behind the Qantas hack have found themselves in the unenviable position of only being able to use the data to…

    Belle July 4, 2025
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  • BREAKING NEWS Featured

    Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 

    Western Australia has responded to Europe’s heatwave by sending the best of the best of our underground miners to give the country some perspective.  Parts…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

American Media Reporting They Are at the Top of the AFL 2024 Premiership Ladder

Belle August 1, 2024

The seppos are at it again! Not only do they try to finesse their Olympic standing every 4 years by ordering the tally based on…

View More American Media Reporting They Are at the Top of the AFL 2024 Premiership Ladder
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Impatient storm enthusiast doesn’t realise warnings aren’t specific to his exact address

Belle July 31, 2024

Dan has once again taken to social media to call everyone involved in predicting Perth weather a time-wasting muppet given the unsatisfactory amount of bad…

View More Impatient storm enthusiast doesn’t realise warnings aren’t specific to his exact address
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Mullaloo swimmer reckons the River Seine looks pretty good to him

Belle July 31, 2024

A man who happily swam at Mullalo last summer can’t believe the concerns that athletes are having about competing in the aquatic shittopia that is…

View More Mullaloo swimmer reckons the River Seine looks pretty good to him
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

CUB buys up gigalitres of The Seine to improve the taste of its froffs

Belle July 31, 2024

Carlton & United Breweries saw opportunities where France saw disaster. Offering the European nation a pretty penny for some of that sweet, sweet Seine water. …

View More CUB buys up gigalitres of The Seine to improve the taste of its froffs
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Man’s hunter-gatherer ancestors roll in their grave after he buys rosemary from supermarket

Belle July 30, 2024

A Perth man has finally destroyed the last remaining thread he shared with his distant ancestors by actually purchasing a bunch of rosemary from Woolies…

View More Man’s hunter-gatherer ancestors roll in their grave after he buys rosemary from supermarket
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Nine poach BT to commentate the Olympics after deciding the public hasn’t endured enough 

Belle July 30, 2024

In a move that will shock industry insiders, Channel 7 man Brian Taylor has sensationally been poached by Nine to come and commentate the Olympic…

View More Nine poach BT to commentate the Olympics after deciding the public hasn’t endured enough 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Local eshay claims credit for improved SCG turf after supplying some eetswa grass to the adlays
  • REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement
  • Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them
  • Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf

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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
  • BoM To Reclassify Perth Storms Based On Likelihood Of Trampoline Blowing Away 
  • REPORT: Perth Man In Arctic Jacket & Shorts Doesn’t Care What You Think 
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