A local Perth real estate agent has finally asked the question “Why?” Why do real estate agents put their faces all over signs and bus stops? Why would the public care? Why not give the public something they can really trust?
Parading around in his inner-city office shirtless, the agent told The Times that a set of rock-hard abs are the most trustworthy thing in the world, adding,
“Consumers need to trust the body they are buying a house from. Look at this skin fold test. That’s the sort of rig you can rely on. That’s the sort of rig that won’t absolutely ream you on a shit deal just so I can get some quick comish. I’m more than just my comish. I’m a hard body”
Hearing him say comish invoked powerful urges to punch him in the chops. Nevertheless, we wanted to get to the bottom of his secret. He continued,
“Since I plastered my adonic rig across the city I have sold 8 houses. Mostly to lonely Western Suburbs spinsters who I may or may not have gone above & beyond for. If you catch my drift”
Banging grannys and well-lit ab-shots have so far propelled the young man to the top of his agency’s leaderboard. However, is it sustainable? We asked another real estate agent who said his day would come. Adding,
“He outcunted us all fair and square but I can be a way bigger cunny. Check out these new concept photos I’ve knocked up. Nice huh?”
He passed us a series of photos of himself in budgie smugglers, on all fours, looking back and giving the camera a Zoolander blue steel. It was absolutely going to give the gym selfie a run for its money.
Hats off to you sir.
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